A few little, teensy-weensy things I'd like to see under the tree this year

All I Want for my CU Marketing Christmas

Dear Santa:

I’ve been a very good little credit union marketer this year. I kept my desk clean, tracked ROI faithfully, surfed the mobile wave, and leveraged channel preferences to optimize KPIs across key brand value concepts.

But there are just a few little, teensy-weensy things I’d like to see under the tree this year to help me achieve even greater MBC (Marketing Buzzword Compliance):

More Money, Power and Time

I have a lot to get done in 2019, so if you could drop off a big bag of budget, a hypnosis amulet, and a time machine, I’d really appreciate it.

I promise I won’t do anything naughty with them.

Make Google and Facebook sit still for a little while

Look, I get that these mega-companies have thousands of busy little elves (programmers, I mean) just itching to change everything all at once.

But for those of us down here in the SEO, analytics, social media, and digital marketing trenches, it’s a constant barrage of shifting terminology, interfaces that hide key functions in a different place every time we log on, and new obscure algorithms that change everything every week.

Can you make these guys leave things alone for a little while so we mortals can catch up for once?

A shiny new silo-busting shovel

As a credit union marketer, I know I need to get out and get involved in pretty much everything, including operations, products, and policy. If you can bring me a shiny new shovel, I’ll be able to dig out of my silo more often.

And it’ll also come in handy for cleaning up after long, boring meetings.

A few gallons of concentrated Focus Potion

Sure, some folks think we’re the credit union that does everything for everyone, but… if we could focus on a few consistent brand and marketing messages targeted to a reasonable number of audiences, I just know we’d be covered with membership growth and shiny credit union marketing awards.

A fresh batch of Millennials

Speaking of target markets, if you see where all the people 18 – 35 went, please send them our way. I know they’ll totally love credit unions once they understand the credit union difference and our mission. I promise we’ll take very good care of them.

Thanks for reading, Santa!

And just to show I’ve done my market research, I’ll leave out craft beer and burritos for you and your elves, plus some vegan couscous for the reindeer.


P.S. If you can’t drop off the other stuff for some reason, I can probably get by with just the first thing, that big bag of budget.

P.P.S. Or at least the time machine.

Also published by CUInsight.

Related Articles